tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-89244752009-02-21T20:11:57.126+08:00a reason for existance, admonitions of living life to the fullest, taking a risk. Because, the truth is there is no sense living life by looking back and wondering. i should have done this, i should have done that. I guess you've heard all this many times before... Well, take a risk... this is mine. da diplomats journeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01826749638994479328noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8924475.post-1111397997610813812005-03-21T17:40:00.000+08:002006-05-08T07:22:38.626+08:00I've not been hybernating..or cybernating...its just been a few long months... To understand why... Here's why..<br />This is for my Mak Lang...<br /><br />If I were to die... I would want to die before my parents...<br /><br />If I were to die...<br />If my lips were thin, my cheeks sunk in deep...<br />My hair untidy and my strength ripped...<br />My eyes withdrawn deep into their sockets,<br />Light in them feeble..sight blurry...<br />Let it be the face of daddy and mommy the only visions I see...<br />Let it be their voices in prayer, the voices I heed...<br /><br />Nobody would want to see their parents die...<br />No parents would want to see their children die....<br />Life has its twists and turn...<br /><br />I lost my aunt last weekend.... Mak Lang I call her...<br />Like all my aunts, she's another mother to me...<br />After fighting the battle of her life...<br />She succumbed last Friday evening... After months long fighting cancer...<br /><br />Before life ended.. the few last minutes...<br />You could see her fight every inch and every second...<br />She inhaled as much air as she could...<br />As she fought on and on.. my uncle; Pak Lang...<br />Held her close and whispered softly in her ears...<br />"Mama...(as what he calls her)<br />Don't fight... don't worry about me and the kids....<br />Go... you go first and wait for me...<br />I'll come soon...<br />I'll come for you...<br />You go...wait for me...<br />I'll look for you...I'll ask for you...<br />Don't fight...just go.... you go firts and wait for me..."<br />Holding her bony fingers, hugging her frail body..<br />Kissing her forehead..<br /><br />Minutes later you could see her calm..<br />It was as if all the conquering pain had gone<br />She no longer gasped for air..but inhaled softly as ever..<br />Her face lighted up... her cheek bloomed of natural colours..<br />One would have thought she would be fine...<br />In the midst of those who loved her..<br />In the midst of non-stop continuing prayers...<br />As few minutes passed...<br />In calm she left us... knowing that she was cared by all...<br />She is missed by all... and mostly...<br />She was loved by all...<br /><br />My aunt...<br />The iron lady (iron aunt) she is, strong and formidable....<br />She was one of those aunts that you felt could do anything...<br />Fight anyone... fight anything... never loose a battle...<br />Left us all....<br />She didn't lose... she left for a better life...<br />To the One who loves her most.. Allah s.w.t.<br />She fought a battle that all of us fought...<br />We cried when we lost the battle...<br />She went because she knew she had won...<br /><br />I miss my aunt... the pain of her no longer with us in there...<br />I know for my uncle and cousins the pain is more...<br />My uncle is in need of more support...<br />But during the ordeal he was the strongest of us all...<br />When we all cried. He comforted us by asking us to put our faith in God...<br />He strengthened us by asking us to accept the will of God...<br /><br />I stayed over my uncle's house during the weekend...<br />He said that his house is now lifeless...<br />And that he misses her...<br />Early in the morning, a day after the funeral<br />After morning prayers, her watered her plants...<br />And later left for her grave...<br />When he came back hours he had a smile on his face...<br />He told me he was sad that she had left...<br />But he was happy that she's no longer in pain...<br />He told me that he spent the morning clearing her grave...<br />And that he wanted to go to a nursery,<br />To look for plants that she liked to plant near her grave...<br />All I see in my uncle in all his strength and sadness...<br />Is undying love....<br /><br />In some sense I now understand and know,<br />One reason on why she fought..<br />She fought because she knew she had a husband<br />Who loved her so much..<br />He left everything.. work, friends etc..<br />Just to be beside her for months..<br />For months he'd sleep at the hospital...<br />So that she knew that she was never alone..<br />She fought every second and minute to be with him...<br /><br />But she left... I think I also know one reason for that..<br />she left because she knows one day she'll be with him...<br />At a place where they can never be separated again forever...<br />She left with the loving words of her husband,<br />That he wants her to wait for him...<br />She left knowing he will look for her when he goes on that journey...<br />She's with God... She's at a better life...<br />She did win the battle...<br /><br />I miss you Mak Lang...<br />We all do...<br />Pak Lang is surrounded love...<br />We can never give him the joy and love you gave him...<br />But rest assured, he is very much loved and cared...<br />I have lost you Mak Lang...<br />I'm afraid of losing any one of you... My uncles and aunts...<br />Most of all, my father and mother...<br />I accept what Pak Lang said...<br />To put our faith in God... and to accept the will of God...<br /><br />One thing is for sure... I know your secret...<br />And at what ever age God grants me...<br />And to the day of my last breathe...<br />When I meet God.. I will ask him for one wish...<br />That I spend the rest of eternal life..<br />With my family... father, mother and sisters..<br />You.. and all my uncles and aunts...<br />I will wish for you all...<br />I will ask for you all<br />My time is not now<br />But... wait for me...<br />Wait for all of us...<br /><br />With love<br /><br />-diplomatz-<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8924475-111139799761081381?l=diplomatzraisondetre.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>da diplomats journeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01826749638994479328noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8924475.post-1102560508762137702004-12-07T07:07:00.000+08:002004-12-10T15:49:37.233+08:00<span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Wordz... </span> <br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"></span> <br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">While flipping through the newspaper this week... </span> <br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">I found out that BLOG, has been officially accepted as a word.... </span> <br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Congratulations, I must say, to blogspot, blog and the ardent bloggers... </span> <br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"></span> <br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">hmmmm.... It was that silent reminder, that it was time for me to write again...</span> <br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"></span> <br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Anyway, another article that caught my attention was that on “words”.. the most beautiful words of the English language. The winners were: mother, love, passion, bliss and a few others. Words. Singular but powerful.. Joined together.... you find the miracles in libraries and bookstores, in speech... in expression....</span> <br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"></span> <br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Talking about words, if there's one person who I know, who understand the power of words the most.. It would be my father.. A retired Linguistic Professor. The love of his life, would be my mother, the envy of Angels... and the only affair of his life... would be that with the English language...</span> <br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"></span> <br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">My father ... not Webster nor Oxford by name... is a walking dictionary and a thesaurus in his own capacity, but with the passion and love, for and of the language.. Ask him a word, and he would explain the etymology, history, roots, synonyms, antonyms, usage, examples of words...and so forth.... <br /> <br /></span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"></span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">So in reading the article, looking at all the "finalist" words that made it as "most beautiful" words... I found myself greatly dissapointed and saddened, to put it mildly,that the word "home"... was not among the many. </span> <br /><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;"></span> <br /><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;">HOME. Basically the dictionary has 3 definitions on the word: </span> <br /><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;"></span> <br /><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;">1. Home; <em>a place where you stay</em>: I spent the evening at <em>home. </em></span> <br /><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;"></span> <br /><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;">2. <em>Where you live and belong to</em>: She was born in Kuala Lumpur, but made <em>Ipoh</em> her <em>home</em>. </span> <br /><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;"></span> <br /><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;">3. be or feel at home: I am already feeling at <em>home in this new place</em> @ <em>She</em> always makes people feel at <em>home</em>.</span> <br /> <br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">The dictionary doesn't say much about home... It has a simple meaning... not a bit with beauty nor any sense of aesthetic. H-O-M-E... spelled in that manner.. or at times.. people call it HOUSE. I guess such simplicity or directness in its meaning, was much of the reason for its failure. </span> <br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"> <br />Well, I on the other hand believe otherwise. I believe that home should be among the finalist. For me "home" encompasses almost everything i know and what i am today... <br /> <br />Home is where i first learnt about love and family... . Happy days... and even tears of my life have been at home. When I'm tensed... tired.. frustrated with things... i just want to go home. It's where i don't have to be in control of things.... I can let go off that grasp i have... I can let go.. relax.. feel comfortable... oblivious to time and the outside world... Home is where i can be truly myself, without worries of prejudice, perception and judgement. Its where I feel secure.. safe and assured... and if i have a choice.. i would like to die at home... not on a bed in a hospital... or in a car in a road accident... but at home... all this, with those whom i love the most... my family. <br /> <br />And if there's such a home in life.. I know, I have one... and so do all of you... a home.. that simple word that means life to me.... <br /> <br />All this bring me back to my point, that i am greatly dissapointed and saddened, to know, an later read and see that such beauty and great feelings..... has not been properly explained in any English dictionary... nor has it made among the ranks of the most beautiful words in the English Language... <br /> <br />Nevertheless, I also realised that all the words that made it, relates and can be associated closely to "home" itself. Its heartening to say that I am lucky... because I have such a definition in my soul dictionary... and home is among my list of beautiful words in English... Ever more.. thanks to my father ... for his warm passionate soul dictionary which I hope, one day I will fully inherit..... <br /> <br />what about you ?? <br />what would your most "beautiful" word be?? <br /> <br />Food for thought... <br /> <br />wordz.... <br /> <br />-diplomatz-</span> <br /></span><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:85%;"></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8924475-110256050876213770?l=diplomatzraisondetre.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>da diplomats journeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01826749638994479328noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8924475.post-1101354242729991682004-11-24T11:07:00.000+08:002004-11-25T15:38:42.646+08:00<span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">President Yasser Arafat... </span> <br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"></span> <br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">I'm late in saying these words..</span> <br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Nevertheless, for a man like him i guess... </span> <br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">I should say out my last respects..</span> <br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"></span> <br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">President Arafat: Revered as the Father of the Palestinian Nation, his untimely passing is indeed a great loss to the Palestinian People. In his lifetime President Arafat carried the hopes of the Palestinian people with him in his struggles and endeavours. He was their inspiration and symbol of courage as he sought to acquire freedom, despite the daunting historic tasks he set himself. The attainment of peace is not an easy task... nevertheless the few brave, have had their name enshrined in the books of history in pursuing such goals. Regardless of what his enemies have said, with intentions to disparage the man, Arafat will be among those few brave men... </span> <br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"></span> <br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Some have called him a monster, some have called him a terrorist. People injured and killed, women and children... from both sides. But yet, in a situation marked by deep mistrust and hatred, President Arafat offered an outstretched hand of great courage in search of peace. Many thought the vicious circle of hatred and violence would end with the signing of the Oslo Accord. The patriarch was a man of Peace, a recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize along with Simon Peres and Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin. It was not President Arafat who abandoned the peace process.... If Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin were to be still alive, and not assasinated... I would assume the realisation of two states at peace, side-by-side would be a reality... But the lost of Yitzhak Rabin, only caused the decay of the very foundations of the Oslo Accord. The administration that took over.. ignored the former Prime Ministers commitment... mistrust and hatred continued…</span> <br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"></span> <br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Years have passed in the struggle for peace. President Arafat staked his life, withstanding challenges, pressures as well as attempts on his life in service to the Palestinian people. His leadership, dedication, resoluteness, steadfastness to the cause, embodies the plight, the dream, the conviction. President Arafat is a man of extra-ordinary political talent in which a few men in history have ever persevered and prevailed in fighting a just cause. He has come to symbolize the steadfastness of the whole Palestinian people. The pursuit and quest for a Promised Land and country for the Palestinians, was to his last breathe. Palestine is poorer with out him. Peace in the Middle East itself is poorer...</span> <br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"></span> <br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">To those who claim that they are the Champions of Peace, Freedom and Justice... let it be known, that peace does not start or is not acheived by the absence of conflict... but it starts with the fulfillment of justice... many of you are blind... Blood.. no matter whose blood.. Muslims or Jews in the Middle East, their blood lost, is sacred blood... Arafat did not failed.. he tried and tried... YOU FAILED!!! Worse... WE too failed.... Why?... WE failed.. because we CARED LESS or CARED NOT... Because the conflict is not ours... WE failed because it was not in our own backyard.. Its said that the cheapest commodity in the Palestinian Territories is that of human lives... women and children.... because some of us read their deaths like the daily weather, or football league statistics in the newspaper... because some of us read without guilt, sadness or sympathy... we made their lives cheap....</span> <br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"></span> <br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Maybe we can give excuses to ourselves and those around us.. </span> <br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">I wonder what would be our excuse to God....</span> <br /><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;"></span> <br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Lastly, dwell into this sentence. I quote from Edmund Burke: </span> <br /> <br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><div align="center"> <br /><em><strong>"The necessary thing for the triumph of evil, is for good men to do nothing"</strong></em></div><div align="center"><em></em> <br /></div><div align="left">Dedicated to a brave man,</div><div align="left">to the brave people of Palestine,</div><div align="left">and the Peacemakers from both sides...</div><div align="left">Most importantly as a criticism to the idiotic people who voted for an idiotic president....</div><div align="left">the so called champions of peace, freedom and justice...</div><div align="left"> </div><div align="left">-diplomatz-</span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8924475-110135424272999168?l=diplomatzraisondetre.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>da diplomats journeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01826749638994479328noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8924475.post-1099967603748205582004-11-09T10:40:00.000+08:002004-11-10T11:11:40.580+08:00<span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">You might say its that day in the morning... Or its everyday... </span> <br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">That odd feeling when you wake up.. Alive once again..</span> <br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"></span> <br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">I love the sun, it has this magical effect. Every morning without fail, as I walk out the door.... I'll take that one step, into bliss, into the morning light. The warm rays of the sun, in its exquisite burst... conquers every inch it touches... It just feels like a new found form of energy racing through my veins... and then, with a deep breath, I inhale... the fresh, sweet morning fragranced air... which makes you think and feel... This is it... This is LIFE. </span> <br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"></span> <br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Try it out.. </span> <br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"></span> <br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Stand in the sun in the morning, </span> <br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Stretch your arms as if to embrace... </span> <br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Close your eyes..and feel it.. </span> <br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"></span> <br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Its a "new day", its a new beginning... High spirits and all as we take each step forward... One tends to wonder, to what magnitude can we achieve in life. Hmmm.... Have you ever seen Meet Joe Black? ... If you have, remember William Parrish? Well, one could imagine such a life, of a billionaire.. stature and all... but most of all,the fact he built an empire on his own. No inheritance, no favours, no luck... pure blood, sweat and tears... To the end, he was happy. He was accomplished. It may be a movie, but life has shown us such examples in real life... we all can achieve great heights... we can all achieve such magnitude...</span> <br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"></span> <br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Coming back to the movie, in facing death.. the irony of it all... His few final words.. after blowing the candle William Parrish said, I quote: </span> <br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"></span> <br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">" <em>And I'm going to break precedent, and tell you my one-candle wish, that you would have a life as lucky as mine, where you can wake up one morning and say "I don't want anything more</em>".</span> <br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"></span> <br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">In time my friends.. in time... </span> <br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Our struggles and deeds will grow. </span> <br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Bringing life to heights unimaginable... </span> <br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">To a day where we ourselves would say...</span> <br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">"I don't want anything more... and I wish you had a life like mine".</span> <br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">With an everlasting smile...</span> <br /><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;"></span> <br /><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;">-diplomatz-</span> <br /><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8924475-109996760374820558?l=diplomatzraisondetre.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>da diplomats journeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01826749638994479328noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8924475.post-1100054765708063382004-11-10T10:44:00.000+08:002004-11-10T10:54:44.426+08:00<span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Friend; friends, friendship.... </span> <br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"></span> <br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">I have yet to consult the Oxford English dictionary to read, understand and convey to you the literal correct definition. But somehow I know, no matter what the dictionary has to say, it would not be holistic as to my understanding of the subject, that after 27 years of life. <br /> <br />A few days ago, I met an old friend. It had been a long time since we last met. So as much as time allowed, we exchanged greetings, thoughts, stories and expressions. Squeezing as much information out of one another to catch back the time that had been lost. And as brief as we met, we said our goodbye’s and went on our own paths. As the person left, there was this great impact, a feeling felt deep inside. To put it simply in words it was a feeling of appreciation of a friend and the overwhelming thought that even though time had passed, friendship persevered. The feeling remain, not only for that person but all those close at heart… friends no matter where they were, a special bond still encircles part of our lives. <br /> <br />Thus, after being in a situation like that, there is this sense of regret, there is this small wish, that is, that if I could have the time, the space, the moment… to tell these friends of mine, that as friends they have been; understanding, caring and always with a smile. A collection of small meaningful words that I see and feel in many of the friends I have today. It would be then up to them to grasp and believe it, or not… that as friends they have been indeed special. <br /> <br />As the friend left and my thought drifted on to many others, a sorrow, profound and lingering feeling is the residue in me which remains within me. This burden somehow becomes lighter by the passing of each hour and each day. It becomes lighter maybe because I know, that this person knows… That I always think of the person and many others among my special friends – understanding, caring and always with a smile. Friends, true friends are diamonds… They are rare, scarce and most precious. Friends – general friends are like leaves of autumn… many, colourful and almost everywhere. But when the wind blows… they float away. <br /> <br />There has been many lessons learnt and many experiences that I, and I know many of you have gained during the course of our lives. Among many, recently, mine would be that of friendship. Simply said, I must say that I am different. And being different, I see that negative perceptions and stigmas within society still lives; that is the manner of “judging a book by its cover”. But life being as it is… I feel I’ve gained more than others for those who stepped up front to sincerely get to know me… became eventually my diamond friends. As such I have many friends who are diamonds and a number of leaves… Diamonds; people who truly know me for who I am, what I aspire to be and what I hope for in the future. <br /> <br />A dear friend of mine reflected a programme which had been conducted through out a course. A programme called the “Secret Buddy” programme. As much as it was intriguing, he personally felt great to the idea that his secret buddy never knew who he was. So in their exchange of letters, writing to the unknown… stigma’s and perceptions did not rule thoughts. He felt like being behind a wall or mask… and better still the learning of one another was based on writings, thoughts, feelings and sincere connotations. There was never a time where negative assumptions nor conclusions were ever made. In any case, he could have fitted any part of a missing piece in a jigsaw puzzle… no matter how different or odd he was. <br /> <br />I guess there are many lessons and reflections that each and every one of us can derive from life… My friend derived the true meanings of friendship from that programme… I was reminded of it from a short meeting of a friend. I guess the world being the harsh reality it is, everyone has the right, liberty and freedom to perceive or talk about anyone else… but then again, perceptions do not necessarily means that you have known, defined or understood a person… by heart and soul. Its just basically reveals that you generally know him or her. <br /> <br />As such in this world of friendship, coloured by truth, sincerity, openness, caring, understanding and smiles… there will always be the other dark side where perceptions rules the light of day…. Well! Nobody is perfect anyway! But whatever it is, I am lucky… and so are you… who has taken time to read this short rantings of mine. For both you and I have diamond friends; and without a doubt they are… understanding, caring and always with a smile. =P <br /> <br />This is a tribute to all those who took time to know, understand, care and be a friend. For many of you are diamonds among the leaves.</span> <br /><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;"></span> <br /><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;">- diplomatz -</span> <br /><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;"></span> <br /><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8924475-110005476570806338?l=diplomatzraisondetre.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>da diplomats journeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01826749638994479328noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8924475.post-1099037803949297662004-10-30T09:49:00.000+08:002004-10-30T09:49:52.150+08:00Life is a story... <br />And this is about mine. <br />Its a story that I write every second, minute and hour of the day.. <br />It may not be an epic.. but (<em>I hope and have faith, that</em>) it would be a memorable one... <br />My thoughts and memories will craft the paragraphs and chapters... <br />A story of life as it is.. raw as it is, with its passion, obsession, energy, vocation and character... <br /> <br />The Great Nehru once said, <br /><div align="center">"<em>Time is not measured by the passing of years, </em></div><div align="center"><em>but by what one does, and what one achieves</em>". </div> <br />As such... here is my story, my journey... in the time of my life. <br /> <br />- diplomatz - <br /><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8924475-109903780394929766?l=diplomatzraisondetre.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>da diplomats journeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01826749638994479328noreply@blogger.com